I’m loud. Like really loud. My voice is loud. I tend to be physically loud (I make big gestures, I take up a lot of physical space). I can fill a 1,000 room + space without an issue.
I’m also incredibly introverted. I’m not good with people. I come home to my space, quiet, safe, human free space. I expect days of quiet alone time after I have to do an event or a party.
People seem to be deeply confused. I can loudly, and quickly, and enthusiastically say that NO! I am not outgoing! No! I am not an extrovert! No! I am not!
But what people hear is the loudness. They can’t imagine that I am exhausted within minutes, that the idea of “just go be social” is very tiring.
On the other hand I have someone close to me in my family who is very quiet, sits quietly, and is incredibly extroverted. He is absolutely happiest when surrounded by people. He wants to be in all the social situations.
If you put the two of use in front of most people they’d usually guess he was introverted and I was extroverted.
I only feel better when I have time alone, quiet, self, inner focused time. I only feel like me when I have time to be me.
But I’m still going to be loud, even when I’m only 10% me, when I’ve been out and surrounding by humans. When I’m exhausted and not ok. I’m still going to be loud. I’m still going to wave my arms around when I’m talking.
So don’t try to tell people what they are, especially when they look horrified when you try to box them into a box they do not belong in.